Squirrel on a Stick

Following on the heels of the overwhelming success of "Chipmunk on a Stick" we now offer you "Squirrel on a Stick". Sent to you frozen in a box of up to 12 squirrel's. This exciting new food item is very popular with those new high protein diets.

According to the University's nutrition expert, "We ran out of chipmunks. They were obviously very tasty, but the ground's crew just could not keep up with demand. As you know chipmunks are hard to catch. Squirrels and chipmunks both taste about the same, so we think people will continue to be pleased... and don't forget there is still the convenience of having your meal on a stick!"

And for our PETA friends - coming soon... Salad on a Stick!!

Note: In the labs we are experimenting with "kitty on a stick" in order to a) provided a high protein snack to the health conscious American public and to b) curb the growing number of animals in shelters across the country. We would appreciate your input.

(Disclaimer: The picture at the left is not representative of the food item itself but is an artists rendering of what one might imagine a more appetizing version to look like.)

Wild Cherry Prozack Cola

What could make you feel better after a tasty squirrel on a stick? From the same minds that brought you Lite Beer Viagra, comes the drink that gives you the lift you need to finish the day.

Be refreshed and feel good about yourself no matter how big a loser you might actually be.

Have an excuse... for everything.

Ever do something stoopid. Really stoopid. Ever ran the car into the house because you were looking in the rear view mirror trying to see if there was hair sticking out of your nose?

Ever droven (or driven) into another car because you were looking at a short skirt on the sidewalk?

Ever got caught being somewhere where you were not suppose to be and then you deny it and swear on your mother's grave and then they show you the vidoe tape.

So what do you do when you get caught and you have no excuse? Do you "face the music"? Do you stand up and take the consequences of your actions? Well maybe in the past you had to, but now you have excuses breath freshner!.

With excuses breath freshner you can claim that you were drunk. You were the victim. You had too much to drink and can not be held accountable for your actions. You can claim those bartenders at the Holiday Inn can't stop pouring. It is not your fault!

Excuses "Breath Freshner" comes in may alcholic, breath fragrances. You just rinse your mouth and who is to know you weren't drinking.

Never have to take responsibity for anything again!