Cow Farts and Global Warming

Not long ago the Federal Government did a study on cows and how their flatulence (we just looked this word up in the dictionary so we would not be required to say the less sophisticated word) effects the ozone and thereby global warming.

With cow farts in mind, here is our list of the top things that should be done to stop global warming. We should start with the first item and go through them "one at a time". Do one and then study the ozone some more and if the hole doesn't improve (the hole in the ozone) then we would need to go on down the list systematically.

1) Close all Mexican restaurants or make them take anything containing refried beans off their menus, or both.

2) Remove refried beans from all grocery store shelves

3) Remove all beans from grocery store shelves

4) Outlaw the use of the word "bean"

5) Require all cow farmers, cow herders, cow handlers, or anyone who deals with cows or who has seen a cow, be required to affix and secure to said cows a device which automatically captures their flatulence.

5b) Send said cow flatulence in a sealed container to Washington DC (currently our national capital) to be used as heat in the Senate.

5c) Pass a law that requires the truck containing said cow fart gas to be labeled, "Danger, Cow Fart Gas", and "Handle with Care", and "Extremely Flammable" and "Your Tax Dollars at Work". And this law would say that no State has the right to re-route the truck in any, manner whatsoever as to avoid large population centers, due to concerns about the truck expolding and releasing gaseous clouds of cow fart gas.

5c) Determine by an independent auditor making gobs of money, if the smell from the cow fart gas being burned has an effect on Congress and if the laws they pass thereafter diminish regarding the study of cow farts and / or other dumb ass laws related to the environment.

These are of course very common senseical steps to solving the global warning issues