Freaknoid's Correspondence School

Currently, we offer only one course - - "Effective Letter Writing", which will be carefully explained below. Those who sign up for this course will receive discounts on future courses, which will include:

Course No. / Description / Fee

001 / Effective Letter Writing (See Below)
002 / How to conduct electroshock therapy at home / $63.95
003 / Sex - It is not as easy as it looks on hotel TV / $63.95
004 / Learning to Drive: Five Lessons in the Mail / $63.95
005 / How to make love to any woman you want: Lessons at Home (Illustrated book, and punch out paper masks, extra)
006 / Neutering Small Animals at Home for Fun and Profit / $63.95
007 / Latex Women Have Feelings Too - A Male Sensitivity Course ("Playmates", extra) / $63.95

Course 001 - Effective Letter Writing

This is a competitive world. You must be able to communicate your ideas and thoughts clearly and effectively. You must be able to move other people to action. You must convince them to do what you want done.

These are the goals of our course, and you can obtain them! Here is how it works. The fist step is for you to send Freaknoid $63.95. You will receive from Freaknoid a personalized letter, where his word processing program inserts your name at various predetermined places. He will, of course, sign each letter personally, (unless he is busy, in which case the secretary will sign his name, but how would you know, so what's the harm). This letter will detail all the various benefits of our course not herein defined. More importantly, it will go on and on about how really smart you are for sending Freaknoid $63.95. You will be able to show this letter to your friends and family who will be amazed at what you got for $63.95.

Thereafter, every once in a while, Freaknoid will send you more materials, but only after you have shown growth in the course work by writing effective letters that communicate how you feel you need more for the $63.95 you sent Freaknoid. Freaknoid really intend to make you work! You may have to send several letters until Freaknoid sees that you are becoming very effective. Freaknoid won't respond immediately in order to help you grow.

But the course work becomes even more difficult. Many advanced students learn some legal terms and actually have had the opportunity to meet their own lawyer for the first time.

Graduates of our course will get to read letters written on their behalf by attorneys, which use complex legal terms having to do with fraud. These letters are usually very effective and are very valuable as learning tools for our students. Unfortunately Freaknoid doesn't normally get to read them all, because his work requires him to move from state to state quite often.