Buddhist Monk

We (“we” meaning me) have decided to become a Buddhist monk. Basically because we like the hair style and the clothes look comfy. Really, after that what else could matter? If you are bald anyways, then having your head completely shaved would be a good idea, don't you think? As it stands now, if you can't grow hair a lot of people look down on you as inferior. So this part of the Buddhist Monk things sounds pretty good.

We think this is the religion where, if you live a good life you come back as a “new and improved” person and if you lived a bad life you come back - pretty much - as who we are now. So there does not appear to be a big downside here.

They are all sworn to poverty, but as Al Gore showed us during his run for the white house, that this doesn’t matter, because they all have a lot of money. So this sounds pretty good. The clothes look like they don’t “bind you up”, “down there” and interfere with the “angle of your dangle” like a lot of “western clothes” that require you to wear “pants”. (Yes we are on the quotation marks “kick”, again.) So this sounds pretty good.

The best thing that could happen, and what would make this darn near perfect is if we could find some people who would worship us. We certainly think we are worthy of this and we have been worshiping us for some time now, although we have tried to keep it “under wraps” so that people would not think us arrogant. But maybe if you are a monk for a long time the other monks start to look up to you. Maybe they let you teach “monk classes” to new monks and maybe eventually they worship you. We sure hope so.

This is all going along pretty much under its own steam. It has enough momentum that it may not be “stoppable”. We only have to go and see the monks and ask them about if we can have a part time job at Victoria’s Secret, because we have not given up on that yet... it could happen someday. And we have to ask about if it is okay to have sex with women. We have not given up on that yet either.

Hope springs eternal.