Today we (“we” meaning me) found ourself at the Amish Buffet for lunch. There is an Amish Buffet that is on our way to visit a client. It is a terrific buffet. All the people that run it and work there are Amish. There may be some Mexicans in the back that wash the dishes. And there is one young gal who dresses up Amish but has a tongue piercing and a tattoo on her calf… she may not be Amish. But everyone else is Amish.

It is a well known fact that Amish people can cook better than anyone. Everyone knows this. Well maybe you didn’t know this, but everyone else knows this which is why we can say it is a well known fact.

Today there were a boat load of old ladies there with red hats. We (“we” meaning me) use the word “boat” as an expression meaning there were a lot of them. They likely came in a bus, not a boat. They were everywhere.

They had some kind of club going on with all the red hats. They must have gathered them from three states.

They were all old. Don’t we expect old people to be more sensible when they mature? Instead they seem to get goofier and they wear purple clothes and red hats. This is why the Western Civilizations are in decline. It is because old people don’t know how to act. Other civilizations can’t take us seriously.

They surrounded the buffet. They moved slowly. Some vainly tried to balance their plates on their walkers. We didn’t want to knock them down to get to the food. It was unfortunate.

Those buffet places make you carry a plate, so you can’t really grab them and try to soften their decent toward the floor. Your hands are full. What can you do?

One of them cried out something about a recent hip replacement or something similar. But nowadays - who can you believe. Maybe she would have “cut the line” and would say anything. Most of them just fell and didn’t cry out much. And they seemed to help each other a lot, which was nice.

Of course we said we were sorry. We were raised correctly and we are not an animal. There is decorum.

The cops came and we (“we” meaning me) were ejected from the place. They forgot to ask us to pay and we had eaten about all we wanted, so all things considered, it turned out okay. And the ambulances didn’t block the driveway so we were able to get out and get home in time for “Oprah”.

Really they should post a sign when a bus load of any type pulls into a restaurant so you have the option of stopping or not. The sign should say, “Many people in a bus just stopped” so you could decide whether to stop or not. Or it might say, “Many, old, goofy ladies with red hats going real slow around the buffet.” It should be a law, passed on the basis of “full disclosure”.

And if they don’t want people to get knocked down then they should have like an express lane.