Call to Citi Bank

This is a big bank. Someday they will need to have someone help them with spelling.

We (we meaning me) recently had to call there in reference to a new corporate credit card. When you call, before a human being answers, a recording tells you that you have to enter 16 digit account number, by using the numbers on your phone. As you are doing this you are thinking that technology is great. This will save a lot of time. You realize that when the person at Citi Bank answers your call she / he / it will have a computer that will recognize your account number and bring up all of the details relative to your account. This is the child like naive part of you that thinks this. The jaded, grown up part of you realizes that this a vain action, doomed to failure.

After you enter in your 16 digits, then you get an automated voice telling you that all of the people that work at Citi Bank are busy. Your call is very important to them. But they are busy. And when one of them is not busy they will answer your call in the order it was received. Just wait, it will only be a few more minutes. Your call is very important. Music plays. It is nice music. You hope no one answers while this tune is on. Before the tune is over an automated voice comes on to remind you that your call is important and you should wait while they are busy helping other customers and that they are definately not on break. In fact, we don't take breaks under penalty of death. More music. Barry Manilow writes the songs the whole world sings. He writes the songs of special things. Hold because your call is important. Your call will be answered in the order in which it was recieved. Really. We take this call holding thing really seriously. We are not eating donuts and drinking cappacino. Barry Manilow is gone now. Now it is Barry White. It must be a full day of "Barry" music. Barry is singing that song in the deep voice saying things about "his baby"...

Then someone answers. "Can you please give me your 16 digit account number".

You realize that it will only make things worse if you tell the person that you entered this information already. So you give them the number.

"Sir, I see that this card is active".

"Yes, I am calling about some charges on the card..."

"Sir the number you called is ONLY to activate cards. You will have to talk to another deparement if you have questions on charges. Would you like me to transfer you?"

"Yes, Please".

Then you get a recording asking you to enter your 16 digit account number.

Barry White is gone...